there's something that has bugged me from time to time and i really wanna wash my hands off it completely but i can't!

ARGHHH! i feel like screaming.

it's so irritating. it's more than irritating. i feel just so worn out, just so sick, just so tired of everything.

i wanna be hardworking and study hard and study smart! i want to overcome law, tax and audit!


i wore big eye lens on wednesday!

i look better with big eye lens on photos, but i look better w/o in real life. it's weird haha.

and i look so skinny :D:D in real life i look like 100x fatter! my phone camera loves me!

anyway i really want to love studying! ive got great teachers right now! the only thing missing in the equation is time and motivation! once i have these two, i'd love studying! i hope god blesses me with time and motivation!

today is saturday!

anyway here are two drawings i did in may, i never got round to scanning it till 10 min ago!




i like these two :D

im going to study audit now! i love audit! i love to study! i will pass the exam! :D:D

ive created a 411 on soompi. please visit! click here!

i think i blank out too much.

sometimes i blank out when i board the bus, and end up forgetting to pay the fare.

and it's embarrassing when the bus driver reminds me to pay.

i wish i'll remember to pay all the time. but i seriously don't know what i was thinking when i boarded the bus.

and sometimes, i'd go to my seat and worry if i have paid or not cuz i cannot remember if i did.

im having another breakout. just as i thought my skin was getting better, i have like 7 mini volcanos on my forehead now. urgh. i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate breakouts! i don't know why i suddenly have breakouts so often! i miss my perfect skin :( i know i have good skin. i hope the breakouts are only temporary. i think i need to eat more fruits and get more sleep. im gonna apply lemon on my face everyday from now on. but im using lime cuz my fridge currently doesn't have an lemon and we have a lime tree in the garden. it stings like crazy to put all these on your face!

im so happy :D i bought shimmmery red nail polish from skin food. ive been very wary of skin food cuz their blackbean eyeliner smudges on me like crazy and their peppermint mask does nothing to help my face. but a few months ago poh eng said their nail polish is not bad. so i decided to buy on monday. got a base coat and top coat along with it too.

and it's way better than missha's! missha has tons of pretty colours, but seriously missha's nail polish is not good! it chips off too easily and takes ages to dry. skin food's nail polish dries much faster! i dunno about the chipping though, i just did it last night. but it's also much easier to apply skin food nail polish, missha's doesn't apply very evenly. but skin food's does!

i feel like taking a picture of my nails, they're so pretty now :D will do so at home.

urgh i just have a papercut.

i also bought a pair of shoes on monday!

i talk too much at home, i talk too little outside. i wish i can talk more outside. most of the time, im very quiet. i don't understand how others talk so much, ive got nothing to say most of the time. im a very boring person. i wish im a more interesting person.

today is thursday.

i feel very bad for falling asleep in audit class.

i wish i don't fall asleep. i need to listen!! audit is very difficult! i think it's the toughest subject im taking this term.

right now it's friday

im so tired.

i want a straighter nose. anyway of having a straight nose without surgery or cosmetic procedures??

anyway my ultrasonic contact lens cleaner arrived yesterday :D:D

ahhh! i really want this lens!


ive been searching for a lens with a pattern like this!!

too bad i cannot buy till september! :(

haha. found a place to get many brands of contact lens, cuz someone leaked the url on soompi.

oh ya! about skin food nail polish. the nail polish on my left hand has not chipped yet, but there's very slight chipping on the nails of my right hand. probably cuz i use my right hand more. but im also applying a new top coat every day. so far so good! it's much better than missha <33

haha now that my camera is ok, ive started camwhoring again. haha. sorry sorry! but i love puffy hair. but my hair is hard to puff up now.



i want puffier hair.

and as you can see, my skin is in an extremely bad state now. i never had such a bad breakout before!!!!!! but im thankful it's mostly on my forehead hidden under my hair and not on my cheeks.

I WANNA BUY GEO NUDY GREY LENS! i also want neo celeb grey lens!

but i look ugly with big eye lens. i hope they won't enlarge too much!

i wish time can stop! i feel like ive got many commitments all of a sudden! im out of time, and i need time!

i managed to get an elusive sunblock from ebay. it's completely natural! only natural oils and zinc oxide. cuz titanium dioxide's bad for your skin! i wish they'd sell it locally here! it's UV Natural.

and ive bought a codyson ultrasonic contact lens cleaner too! :D i can't wait for it to come! then my lens would be very clean from now on! :D

you know! the pretty girl in audit lecture is in my law lecture too!! she is so absolutely gorgeous! i wish i can go up to her and tell her she's very pretty :(:(

i love cha ye ryeon!!! they were showing Voice on tv a few days ago, i think cha ye ryeon is very beautiful!! she's an uncommon beauty! she's got a very unique look to me!!


image taken from cha ye ryeon's HanCinema page

i like my tax lecturer a lot!!!!

i think he's one of the best teachers i ever had!

i got to thank my brother for recommending me his class!! :D:D

he's just different from any teacher out there! there's no one who teaches like him or has wit like him. and he keeps insisting he's only 21 when he's quite old and fat and has tons of golden white hair (but he's not ugly so it's ok hahaha)! haha. but he's a very very very good teacher. but i hope i can pass my tax this term! as much as i think he's good i don't wanna go through tax for another semester!

i think this entry is complete nonsense. i should be more serious!

but now i feel like being lightheaded.

ive got a long day. first, work, then school, then after school i had to go somewhere to collect some documents for work.

it's very tiring!

yay i finally changed the bad battery of my camera and i can take pictures again :D:D




and this is my ipod! haha the cover is so dirty! i think im gonna wash it today.


i wanna get grey contact lens. i wanna get those which don't enlarge your iris, at least as little as possible. i think i look better with normal size iris than crazy big iris.

tomorrow i've got japanese test. my japanese is just so dead. i really have no motivation to study japanese now! but i really wish i can continue into year 4 next year before i quit. at least 4 years are better than 3? cuz after that i'd probably have started a real job and wouldn't have anymore time.

i still have to learn driving. i seriously don't wanna learn driving.

i guess i better study more. i hope to pass all my exams this term! im currently doing law, tax and audit. they seem difficult :(

time is a luxury.

it's a luxury i cannot afford.

i can't throw away studies or work.

but sometimes it takes a toll on me.

there are times i browse blogs of my old friends. and it feels like you're reading blogs of strangers. you know the person, but you feel like you don't know them anymore. sometimes i feel like i don't know anyone. you used to hang out with them, now you're pretty much out of their lives. and they're pretty much out of yours too. but staying in contact is hard. and people will change. sometimes i think it's a pity people come and go, the situation, that is. i don't feel sad over it. i don't feel anything for the past. nostalgia is not something that applies to me.

i envy people with straight noses. i envy people with fair, clear, rosy skin. there are many people i envy.

there's lessons tomorrow. i hope i don't fall asleep. thank goodness i finally have a voice recorder. but you'd still need to force yourself to listen through the recordings. i don't have much motivation.


i love her!!

jang nara has a new music video


jui and his two dogs! i think they are called atom and clare.


and his kitties.

he even brings the waterproof kitty into his bath! O__O the one with the yellow eyes.

arghhhhh.

i wanted to die last night. i am disgusted!!! it was very late, and as usual i wanted to eat cuz im greedy and i decided to take this piece of cake with fruit jelly filling from the bar counter. it was from taiwan, but i don't know if my mom or aunt bought it. it was probably brought back here a couple of months back.

before i took a bite i thought it smelled a little like cheese. but this cake doesn't have cheese in it. but i took a bite of it anyway. and i chewed and swallowed it. then for some reason i suddenly noticed that the cake has some white fluffy thing on it and arghhhhh i realised this cake is moldy!! not green mold, but the white cottony kind. yuck!!!!!

anyway i was pretty disgusted i ate a bite of it. but i can't vomit it out, im not someone who vomits easily, and i don't wish to vomit the moldy cake back into my mouth. so the other way is to rinse my mouth completely and make sure the eaten cake stays in my stomach and doesn't come out i can't imagine it back in my mouth cuz i wanted to gag at the very thought of it. so i decided to eat chocopie to keep the modly cake down. i love chocopie!!!

thank goodness i didn't get a stomachache.

anyway im at work now and im hungry.

it's thursday, july 24th now.

after school today i collected my passport, bought moisturiser, and then bought a voice recorder.

i bought kiehl's moisturiser and it's way overpriced here as compared to its original price in the US (almost twice the price). but im not buying other brands as judging from the ingredients list it seems that kiehl's has pretty ok ingredients. i don't want to buy something laced with all sorts of harmful chemicals, which is practically present in almost all products today, whether it's drug store or high end. so with that amount of money, i rather buy something that's natural or doesn't have much harmful ingredients. even in kiehl's there are some products with more harmful ingredients, i bought the one that looks safest to me. i am crazy about what i put on my skin nowadays. people living in america don't know how lucky they are. they get cosmetics and skincare at such low prices. once it's exported out the price gets marked up by a lot!

i want to buy another brand of moisturiser online soon though, that one is 99% natural and the synthetic part seems safe.

anyway, i hate gladiator sandals.

i think they are so damn ugly. and everyone's wearing them now cuz it's the trend. i hate trend followers! can't people have some individuality or be difference for once? and even if they wanted to follow something, at least make sure it looks nice! gladiator sandals are an eyesore! those high ones which go all the way to the calf is worse. the higher, the worse it is basically.

anyway, passports now last for five years only.

this is dumb. old passports used to last 10 years! now they're earning twice as much from making your passport.

and today is friday.

ive got tutorial tomorrow.

i miss the days (many many years back) where there is a proper holiday for me. by proper holiday i mean totally no work, no study, no school. the last time i had that was 4 years ago.

and from now on im gonna be very busy. since there's gonna be tutorials. for the past few weeks there were none. so i think from now on most of my saturday mornings will be eaten. then there's no day of the week i can wake up late :( i hate waking up at 6am, 7am. i rather wake up naturally w/o the help of an alarm clock which probably means about 11am.

haha i think young japanese boys (about 10?) are so cute!!!!! but im not a paedophile. but they are just so cute!!!!! im not too sure when they grow up though. haha. but they look very adorable when they're still young.

oh. and there is one very very very pretty girl in my audit lecture group!! she is sooooo pretty!!!!! i think she's one of the prettiest people ive ever met in my life!!! i think she's from china. cuz she doesn't look local. and she's soooo pretty and has very good skin and is very very very slim!!!! people like her are so lucky! i wish i can look at her but it's so embarassing!! plus she wears very nicely and elegantly too!! i wish i can take a picture of her!

i wanna buy dresses!!

haha. i feel like a complete idiot yesterday. i didn't realise there was no school, i think the lecturer said it last week but i didn't remember it. i went to school. but nevermind. there were a few other careless people in the lecture room, not only me.

but i went to kinokuniya after that to get neo genesis. normally i don't buy neo genesis. but jui posted this picture in his blog

so i had to buy it ^^

but the other side is alicenine :( i wish neo genesis or shoxx would not show alicenine for at least one issue!!!

but jui is cute as a samurai. he wore big blue eye contacts which makes him look sooooo cute!!!! i don't know, but big blue eye contacts give you a baby look. when i wear them, i feel that i look like 10. (without them i feel i look like 14) i feel jui looks younger and babyish with them on too. haha.

he has ugly fingers though!! hahaha. but i still like jui whether he has ugly fingers or not :D:D

it's monday now. i wish there's a day i can complete one entry in a day.

and there are times when i don't listen to vidoll or kisaki project songs for a long time. and i would listen to them again after a long time. like a few days ago. then i realise how bad other people sing. hahahaha. jui still has the most beatiful voice on earth~~ he sings the best!!! i love love love love love his voice~~

anyway i also like riku's voice!! i think it's very nice!! i just uploaded his song onto my radio blog. he's a model but he sings way better than most singers out there. but i think he's not active anymore cuz he's got bad health. he should stop smoking!!! pretty people like riku shouldn't smoke. (jui too :( ) haha!! the last time i had a riku obsession was like 3 years ago!!! anyway i love the song nemuri!! im currently addicted to it.


he's sooooo pretty~




i found a riku video on youtube. this is the very first (and only) time i am seeing a riku video and seeing/hearing him talk.

i think he looks like jang nara in the video!!! (i look like jang nara, do i look like riku?? hahaha. no i know i don't. i don't think i look like jang nara either~~ but thanks to people who think i do! :D)

jui the very cute samurai!! i scanned my neo magazine. i don't know how to set my scanner so that it doesn't scan the picture into little dots!! my old scanner didn't do that!



that reminds me!! it's MONDAY!! it means the new episode of fated to love you is out on youtube :D:D im gonna watch it now. plus im really hungry now.

i love celery!
why do everyone else hate celery??
i think it has a very unique (??) refreshing (hahaha i just can't describe it!) taste! i love it!

i wanna go to korea and shop! their clothes are very nice! i wish they sold nice stuff here too!! but recently when i went to shops the clothes are getting really ugly!!! seriously i wonder who would wear them! but there's nothing nice here anymore!

i wanna go to taiwan too~~~

haha i just wanna get away from here. bad weather, bad fashion/clothes (i still don't think i wear funny. i think others wear funny. i hate local fashion! people only wear revealing stuff and end up looking slutty. it's so predictable, everyone wears camisoles with shorts or denim skirts. haha if im the president i'll ban denim skirts. i think they are ugly!) haha but the world would die if i were president.

i want an epilator.

i want makeup!! my favourite makeup company aromaleigh is considering to open up to international markets!! then i'd finally be able to buy directly from them!! :D i want neutral makeup. i still like dark makeup, but i really don't have the interest or time to draw panda eyes for the moment.

right now my nose is runny and ive been sneezing a lot. people have been coughing and sneezing in public transport so much and they spread it to me :(:( gosh i hate people who sneeze and cough in public places! you're making me sick!! now i have fallen sick :( but i don't really sneeze or cough in public, i can usually handle it quite well and keep it in, i don't infect others. but im still sick :( i couldn't even take a nap this afternoon cuz my nose kept me awake :(:(:(

surprising news...

jui has a blog!
i just visited batsu the first time in months, and i found out jui has a blog!

gosh gosh gosh. im so out of touch, but omgomgomgomgomg jui is so pretty. he's like so pretty now arghhhhhhhhhh he's w/o makeup but he looks so pretty this is so wrong!


i don't believe my eyes haha. he's too pretty!!! (i wanna dye my hair his color! but i doubt i'd ever dye my hair anytime soon.)

this is vidoll's new pv. the song is pretty nice i guess, but vidoll is really very unvidollish now! but at least jui is showing some skin now. i wish he'll wear super short shorts/skirts and sleeveless stuff again. but i guess showing his tummy is better than showing nothing haha.


but somehow his actions in the beginning of the pv reminded me of miyavi. jui must never be like miyavi. no way. miyavi no way no way no way!!!!!

and rame reminds me of someone from some oshare band but i cannot think of who it is right now, but it's so scary. vidoll is losing their uniqueness.

and right now vidoll's music is very light. there's too much emphasis on the guitars. i miss old vidoll stuff with distinct bass. other than vidoll i don't know any other bands where the bass is the main point of the music, but right now vidoll's heading in the direction of typical jrock, which makes me have some regret. actually i shouldn't be saying this now, the have changed ever since shun and giru joined 3 years ago. im 3 years late in saying this. it's already 3 years!! time has passed really quickly.

and jui is so skinny in the pv. i think i am probably heavier than him now. i need to lose weight. im trying to start exercising now.

i wanna go swimming~~ but there's no one to go swimming with me!! :(:( i can't swim alone!!! someone go swimming with me!!!! and i want to know of indoor pools, i don't wanna get dark!!! i hate my tan-ness now!!!

i wonder if jui's real name is junichi. this is a card his parents sent him for his birthday!


i thought his name was junpei as shown on his birthday cake two years ago. now it's junichi? haha. im confused. but i rather he be junichi than junpei. i don't like the name junpei!

i still feel sick.
i still need to lose weight. i need to make my arms, legs and tummy smaller.

i just bought some clothes online.

ive not bought clothes in like years! ok not years but more than a year??

somehow when i have money clothes is like the last thing on my mind! i'll buy stuff like makeup and other useless stuff when i actually need clothes more. haha!!

but im happy! :D can't wait for them to arrive! :D the next thing on my shopping list is shoes. but many shops don't have shoes i like.

but that same blog owner is also having a bag spree, the bags are so pretty i want them but i bought quite a few pieces of clothes i think i will exercise some self control and not buy any bags. did you read the papers yesterday? young people are getting very very bankrupt these few days! we must learn to spend less! and save for the future!

school is starting next week! right now i totally don't have the mood to study!

anyway in those online shops selling clothes and bags the taiwanese girls are sooooo pretty!!! gosh!!! i think taiwanese girls are pretty pretty pretty~~ (though i don't know how they look like w/o big eye lens cuz most of them seem like they wear big eye lens) haha, but i look taiwanese! my colleague seriously thought i was half japanese and asked me if i was mixed. she was like are you mixed? then i was like huh? what do you think i am? then she was like you don't look pure chinese and thought i had some japanese blood in me.

but i don't think i look any bit japanese, then i said i don't think i look japanese but i think i look like china chinese + taiwanese and she's like ya! you do look taiwanese!! i take that as a compliment!

someone came here searching on google on how long before you can sleep on the side of your snug piercing. till now i can't, and i cannot seem to unscrew the jewelry at all!! i tried a few times, and even with a plier and i cannot seem get it undone urgh!! i wanna take it out and clean my ear properly! but unfortunately i can't and i still cannot sleep on that side so i sleep on my right side. but right side is the side i normally sleep, but the fact that these few days ive been sleeping excessively on my right side ive developed a headache on the right side of my head :( usually i need to toss and turn before settling on my right side but now i cannot toss and turn anymore and it's extremely uncomfortable :( i wish the next few months will pass by quickly and my piercings will heal fast.

ahhh right now im addicted to fated to love you!!! it's sad that they only have one episode per week! :(:( i wish they have one episode everyday! it's so horrible to go through 6 days everyweek w/o it!

anyway i feel very depressed today. i don't know why, i just feel down the whole day. and i still do. but my colleagues are very nice!! i got to know two new colleagues today :D they're not new but it's the first time im talking to them :D other than that my life suddenly seems very bleak.

i love the new song on my radio blog! it's very nice!! im very very addicted to it! i think i listen to it 20 times a day!

i remember an article a few weeks ago on kids who grow up and mature too fast nowadays. i only agree partially with it. it's true nowadays they wanna look older, wanna look like 18 when they're only 13. but it's a sad thing that their maturity doesn't keep up with their looks. they look old, but they really think like kids. to me, a 13 year old say 5 years ago is more matured than a 13 year old this year. sometimes i really don't like people of my age. im not matured either, but i think im definitely better than your average 20 year old.

gosh! i don't know, but why does people think that the coloured part of your eyeball is your pupil?? you don't even need to study biology to know this! i thought it's common knowledge! it's the IRIS! the pupil is the black part in the middle of your iris. people keep on selling contact lenses to make your pupils larger. when i read such stuff i really feel like cringing.

a few months ago, my former form teacher (which is my third year form teacher) sent all of us an email. she left teaching cuz she had better opportunities elsewhere. ive got a pretty good impression of her. she's nice to her students, and seemed genuine in wanting to help us. but that one email changed my opinion. her company was promoting this hotel resort i think. and to get it to be voted the best, and asked all of us to go to this website, sign up and vote for her resort.

there are two issues with this. firstly, i probably have not stayed in any of the hotel resorts in the voting list as they're probably for big money spenders. i dont' see how i should vote in that case as i do not have first hand experience.

secondly, my teacher actually made use of her students to get votes for her hotel resort. making use of the good relationships, of the trust her students have in her. you might think, she's so nice, so i should help her company succeed. i have no qualms about that, but asking me to lie to achieve that, i don't think that's what a teacher (current, or former) should do.

i guess now i seem like a very stiff and stifling person. but i really put a lot of emphasis on morals, though what i think is right usually isn't what others think is right or they may think im just too reactive over small matters, or making a mountain out of a molehill. but to me no matter how small a matter is my morals will still always come first. if you can't do a small thing right, how can you do a big thing right?

//today is sunday!//

today my mom bought me jeans! so happy! :D

but i only want black jeans. i don't fancy blue jeans, but if i really had to wear blue dark dark blue almost black blue is the lightest colour i will wear.

and i don't like skinny jeans. i dont' know why practically everyone on the streets is wearing skinny jeans now. i don't fancy straight cut either, both are just as bad. my favourite (or actually it's the only cut i like) is the bootcut. it has an elegant shape!

but nowadays shops only sell what people want so most of the black jeans i came across are skinny jeans x.x i took a pair to try and it was so uncomfortable! and i didn't like the look of it either. so i had no choice but to settle for a pair which is pretty baggy since it's the only other black jeans avaiable. there was a bootcut almost black jeans but they didn't have my size.

and then i managed to find another pair of jeans, and they are bootcut! but the pair is very dark blue, but not black. but i got it anyway, since it's the second best i can settle for.

i want black bootcut jeans!!!!! i think i should buy a normal pair of bootcut jeans and dye it black. currently that's the only way i can think of to get a pair of black bootcut jeans.

because im so obsessed with sungmin, i shall embed some sungmin videos here! you must watch them, he is soooooo adorable!!!!

Sungmin - midnight fantasy (fanvideo)


i love this song and video!! except for the part around 1:20~1:30. because i cannot stand kyuhyun!!!! i really like kyuhyun's voice, i think he has the best voice in suju (though yesung has best singing technique), but once i see kyuhyun i freak out! he just creeps me out i dunno why! x.x but other than that, there's so much sungmin!!! <333333 and he's so cute at about 3 minutes!!!

and this is sungmin's danhobak (pumpkin)CF.


god knows why sungmin likes pumpkins!!! i absolutely hate pumpkins!!!! but anyway, this is sungmin so i shall forgive him for liking pumpkins!! hahahaha! anyway this cf is so cute and sungmin is sooooo pretty in it!!! (anyway i got soft spot for guys who pierce both earlobes, somehow i don't fancy guys who only pierce one ear! and both sungmin and hankyung have both ears pierced!!! so nice!!! i like!!! but i guess most people find it very girly!)

and here sungmin is sleepy and hankyung is supposed to wake him up!


i dunno why many people hate hankyung's long blond hair during miracle days, but i think it suits him very well, i like it!!!! people seem to like his super short hair in U days, and i don't really fancy that!

sungmin - sweet lover (fanvideo)


another fanvideo! the song is very cute!! and sungmin is very very very cute!

im so happy today! i finally got to eat BEEF NOODLES! :D:D:D:D

ive been craving it for months! very few places sell it now! but i finally got to eat it after craving for it for half a year! :D:D:D:D:D

i love food~~~~

i realise with my blue contacts, i can't really wear coloured eyeshadow. i wore pink today, and i think it looks horrible with the contacts. i think i should get gray or brown contacts too so i can wear eyeshadow.

and i also realise my arms are very dark compared to my face and my legs!!! i think my face has gotten a little fairer with daily use of my DHC face washing powder. i think it's pretty good!

but back to my arms. they're so dark!!!! i think im destined to be dark forever :( no matter how much i stay out of the sun, im still dark. urgh. there was a time i put sunblock, but in the end i was too lazy to keep up that regime.

anyway i found this super cute tortoise video!!!! OMG!!! SO CUTE!!!


the tortoise just keeps following the cat and disturbing it!!

right now it's monday.

i really feel like im a liability to everyone and everything in my life. i feel like i bring nothing but burden to this world. i hope people who ive been a burden to will not be too angry at me.

i just bought earrings online, im really excited!! they're really pretty! i wish i can make my own earrings to, i can get materials myself, but i don't have any creativity to make nice designs! everytime i see people make beautiful necklaces, bracelets and earrings, im so envious!!! i envy creative people! my mind has like totally zero creativity! i also envy people who design clothes. or people who do interior design, i wish i can do interior design!

this is my ear now


i love my industrial and snug :D


sungmin is so hot here!!! and there's hankyung beside him too :D:D

and here's another cute tortoise and cat video. the tortoise can really stick its head out a lot!


i suddenly like tortoises! they're so cute!!!

and these baby pandas are so cute!!!!! AHHHHHHHH they also make very cute noises!!

me with big eye blue lens :) (and no makeup please ignore my spotty face my face is not spotty in real life i dunno why my camera makes it this way!) i look weird, but in a good way haha :D

and this is my new industrial

haha esther thinks my ear looks like some living thing and the ends of the barbell are its eyes.

i still wanna get a snug tomorrow :D need to call the shop up later though to hopefully be able to make an appointment.

gosh i am super obsessed with sungmin! he is so adorable and cute~~~ yet very charming at the same time!!!! sungmin <3333 ~~



(please ignore eeteuk)


^ he looks so good here!!!

gosh he's really a prince!!

anyway today is saturday and i finally got my snug pierced!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D

surprisingly it's not painful at all!!!!!! the bottom hole of my industrial is the worse piercing ive had! it's the most painful!!!! very painful in fact!!!! but right now my industrial is getting a bit infected and the top hole is more painful than the bottom cuz it keeps on hitting stuff x.x

but my snug is not painful at all o.O i think it must be cuz it is a 16ga piercing instead of my industrial's 14ga which is like 0.4mm bigger. even now my snug doesn't feel swollen or hot and isn't throbbing (my industrial still is!).

hahaha and all this while i kept on thinking snug was one of the more painful piercings (from what ive read. but to me it's just as painless as my conch. why does everyone says their snug hurts like crazy?? mine wasn't anymore painful than an ant bite, i think ant bite is even worse actually)

now i want more piercings!! hahahaha i love piercings, but cuz of what my mom said two days ago (that someone apparently went blind after piercing) ive decided to be on the safe side first though im gonna find out more about what happened to that girl. so i won't be doing anymore for the moment unless it's lobe but i don't really fancy lobe piercings cuz while they look nice with earrings in them they look ugly and holey when you take off the earrings.

anyway rouhua was so sweet to accompany me!! :D:D

suddenly i have the urge to be girly.

right now im just looking at online shops selling clothes and the girls modelling the clothes are those japanese/taiwanese style kinds with long hair with big curls and nice tops and dresses and suddenly i feel so small and blah. i wear crap clothes and have spiky hair. ok i don't exactly spike my hair everday so it's not exactly spiky all the time but when i don't spike it it sticks out in all directions and looks very messy and crazy.

i wanna be girly now.

but i guess after two days i'll be back to my weird old self again and like my crappy clothes and spiky hair. hahahaha.

and i cna't imagine myself with long permed hair and in super girly clothes.

took this with my mom about 2 months ago. she looks more excited than me haha.


anyway serene says i laugh funny!! she says when i laugh i sound like i cannot catch my breath (it's true sometimes i can't but you mean others can?) and that i need to 'add oil' to my laughing. i dunno how to add oil to my laughing. never noticed i laugh differently from others. or maybe it's cuz im a sulky person and hardly laugh and so once i laugh im not used to it and cannot catch my breath.

right now im a little obsessed with lee sungmin. he's so charming!!!! he's like a little charming prince!!! <3

okok right now it's saturday night.

just gotten an idustrial done just now.

the piercing hurt!!!! it hurt pretty bad actually. more than my conch piercing. plus it's two piercings. but i wanted a snug piercing but the piercer present didn't do snugs so i did industrial on impulse since i wanted a helix piercing too and industrials are just two helix piercings. but it hurt. but not enough to make me cry. ok now i have to face another 9~10 months of healing. gonna pierce my snug hopefully this saturday. i like my industrial piercing! but it still feels hot right now. i hope it will heal properly since industrials don't heal as well since perfect alignment of the two piercings is impossible. anyway piercer says i one of the better customers, cuz i don't scream, or faint. i just sat through the terrible pain. it's terrible, but i guess i just didn't show it, though i did look frightened and was trembling after the piercing was done cuz it was so painful. i still could smile and joke though hahaha. i guess my pain threshold isn't as low as i thought.

i keep bumping my piercing into things and snagging it on clothes x.x urghhhh

life is very unfair.

i live in a place where crime rates are very low, there are no natural disasters though the hot weather really sucks. many other people aren't so fortunate as me.

my maid is from myanmar and right now i think she's very worried for her family back home. there's no way of contacting her relatives and feeling uncertain must be very terrible. and im not a person who is good at consoling others. i only know how to feel sad but don't know how to think of solutions or put myself to good use. anyway i hope the communication system there will be back soon and then we can find out more information. and it's a double whammy they have such a dumb and heartless govt i don't know how those survivors are gonna survive if their govt remain a pain in the arse.

anyway. im applying for a full time job. lets hope i can get it. today at some trouble with some idiot over the phone. im trying not to be demoralised.

anyway i don't understand how can some people wear unbelievable stuff to work. like tube tops. this is work. you're not going clubbing. it looks really cheap! i wish she'll look into the mirror. people should learn to cover themselves up more.

my hankyung obsession is not over! anyway on soompi there was a post with this translated article


""
Celebrity impressions-Han Geng
translation of the blog of the writer of Very Big Star's thoughts about SJ-M.

Han Geng: Wang Zhe's sky.
(Wang Zhe is an imperial, honorable, chivalrous person, sort of like royalty)


I never decided how to write this story. The more I care it, the harder it is to express myself clearly. Since he debuted, I have heard of him. I been following his news since two years ago. Last year, because of some reasons, we missed the chance of having him come alone, but finally he's here on our show successfully.

A long time before filming, when SJ-M was in its infancy and had no name, I have been told that we would be their first variety show. Yet because the exact time could not be determined, we did not reveal the news for a long time. So in the recent 4 months, I've been preparing for this.

In the 4 months of preparing, to find information about the guests, I almost visited all of their numerous fanclubs. Han Geng has a very good dancing background; he has a very amazing dancing aura; he has the body of a dance, the face of an actor; he's very hard-working, and also very humble; he has the necessary traits of a superstar--but he doesn't have a stage. Other than two TV stations, either he doesn't go on the screen, or he has to wear a mask--the Korean entertainment gave him two hard decisions, and it seems like that's all they could give him. Thus, in the long eight months, the only thing fans could talk about is pity for his talent and worry. Thus this environment gave me the wrong idea that Han Geng's very soft.

The afternoon on the day of filming, at 2:20, when the press conference began, SJ-M first entered my eyesight. The first greeting was "I'm SJ-M's leader Han Geng." Then, he officially answered the reporters' questions, joked with the host about Nanjing food, and translated the questions to his members. After the interview, he bowed to the editors and said, "Please help to promote SJ-M. Thank you. You guys worked hard." When to be official, and when to joke, he knew it perfectly, already acting like a real group's leader.

After the press conference, me, the outside-scene editor, the cameramen, and the hosts sat on the floor of the hallway talked. Little did we know that it was outside Han Geng's door. After seeing us, he immediately invited us to sit in his room, but because we felt bad about squishing all of us in his room, we declined, but still felt very comforted. A lot of precious things, he did not lose because he changed his position.

During the rehearsal, I first realized his differences with my impression. To make sure of the positions, he voluntarily asked for another rehearsal of [U]; After singing [The One], he asked me to add a acapella; He carefully practiced the dancing telephone's music and moves over and over again...every little detail is proof of his change. What he's doing, what he wants the most, he knows better than anyone.

When editing the footage, the director asked me why didn't I ask about Han Geng's hardships in Korea, why didn't I make it more sentimental. I told him it's because it's the group's first variety show. But the real reason is because I don't want to see him cry, so I threw out the sentimental parts in the script. Meeting him that day confirmed my decision. I saw a Chinese report called him Hezhe ethnicity group's bold eagle; I know many fans called Wang Zhe Han Geng; the person I met in the short half of a day was a confident, strong leader. Whether a bold eagle or a Wang Zhe, he needs a sky that he could fly in, the wind under his wings, and the bravery to leave his sad scars. And these, I believe he can have.

If one day, as the bosses wish, Han Geng comes back on our show along, and we dig deep and ask about his past, I still don't want him to cry. Passing through layers and layers of obstacles, culminating life's many sacrifices and hardships, he grew to be a man that can make fans proud. Even if he was touched, moved, I still want him to use a cool expresiion to describe that poignant feeling, to nonchalantly say "life is very hard," yet still keep smiling.



Extras:
1. The boss asked me if I wanted a picture with him, and after carefully debating, I declined. My ego won't let me take a picture with someone whose face is smaller than mine. Even if I took the picture, I would only be embrassed.

2. After filming the beginning song, while they were re-putting on makeup, Han Geng grabbed me and asked me how to saw " I really miss you guys" with a Nanjing accent. Because I'm not from Nanjing, and can understand but not speak a Nanjing accent, I went through my memories of Nanjing accents and taught him. After that, I began to get worried, so I dragged Xiao Lu over to teach him. Apparently, I was wrong. After filming, I went to my office and repeated what I taught Han Geng, asking everyone what accent that is. Hao mei(younger sister/any younger female) stared at me and told me it's from <>(a movie)... Faint...Thank goodness I didn't let Han Geng say it......

3. When resting, Han Geng wanted the music from the dancing charades, but couldn't find a MP3, so I took Lee's PSP and put the music in their for Han Geng. Because I'm game console-blind, I couldn't figure out how to play the music. After teaching me twice, Lee lost his patience and said that Han Geng would definitely know how to use. Just as he said, as soon as I gave the PSP to Han Geng, he found the music and began to listen to it......

translation by idarklight@crunchyroll.com

Blog site: (also includes impressions of all SJM members)
""


the article is from a sina blog here http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_4d10d4cf010098dj.html.

i really respect hankyung (not just obsess over him like a crazy fangirl though i agree i am a crazy fangirl hahaha) cuz he really had to overcome so much just to be where he is today! he has to work so much harder than the other suju people!

and i think he deserves to be the torchbearer! i agree probably there are others out there who contribute even more to the society, but as a pop star, hankyung has the power to reach out to more people and his struggle to achieve his dreams is inspiring and young people will follow suit. and he's also very filial to his parents, very kind (he donated a lot to the china winter fund though we all know he's not rich). it's like all the money he earns he doesn't keep for himself, he just gives and gives! his parents are really lucky to have such a good son!

more young people should learn to be like him!
he looks like an angel here!

i want his soft platinum blond hair!

anyway, both hankyung and lvxing (the super charismatic bai yunfei) are from heilongjiang. hankyung's from mudanjiang and lvxing from harbin and mudanjiang are harbin are just right beside each other!

anyway i cannot stand irresponsible people! as a student it doesn't really matter to you if others are irresposible or not, cuz you just study and strive for yourself. probably you'd be affected by others in projects but projects do not form too large a part of your life yet. but as you grow older, you need to network more and teamwork really comes into play (as much as i hate it i prefer doing things myself) someone's irresposibility can affect you and pull you down. i wish more people will be resposible and more considerate.

anyway im working in an air conditioned environment and it's making my skin really dry! my neck feels like cracking sometimes x.x my arms too. and my arms are getting really really fat i think soon i'll need to go for liposuction. i hate the fact i cannot resist food!!!!!!!

and im eating more and more these few days!

anyway, last week i thought my toe nail was healing, i thought it stuck back. but it sort of separated again from the nailbed a few days later. right now my toe nail is stuck at the base, but the rest of the nail is separated from the nailbed. hopefully this dead nail grows out fast. it doesn't hurt though, i don't need to bandage my toe anymore.

i want a haircut!